


three's a crowd

by hajiiwa



Series: my dear, there is magic in everything [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (he is human), Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Incubus Iwaizumi, Incubus Kuroo, M/M, Medium Oikawa, Sexual Humor, Succubi & Incubi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 09:24:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12578632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hajiiwa/pseuds/hajiiwa
Summary: Oikawa chokes on his spit. “You’re inviting another incubus–”“Yep.”“– to stay at my home, take advantage of my hospitality–”“Pretty much, yeah.”“– why?!” Oikawa wails, dropping his head onto the table and groaning loudly. “You’re bad enough!"





	three's a crowd

**Author's Note:**

> *sw ea ts* so uh  
> someone on my tumblr requested this,, and even though it's not Super Explicit (or explicit at all) i am still....
> 
> very red. omg.  
> happy halloween, SINNERS

Oikawa Tooru lived a hard life. Each night he silently curses those who had it easy; his best friend Hanamaki, who was currently harboring a six-foot cat shifter, his mail carrier who saw through the eyes of the bird on his shoulder, and of course, those who weren’t saddled with any sort of non-human (or part-human) baggage.

So what if magic had been integrated into his life? He can put up with the mummies bagging his groceries but it’s blasphemous to have to house an  _incubus_.

All told, Kuroo Tetsurou wasn’t necessarily an ungracious guest. Sure, he takes up the entire couch on occasion. Sure, he eats all the sweets in the house even though he doesn’t require human food for energy. Sure, every few nights Oikawa would dream of cold fingers and slow smirks that helped sustain Kuroo (among other things), but really, it wasn’t a big deal.

Until– well. Until Kuroo says something that throws Oikawa for a loop.

“I’ve got a friend coming over,” drawls the lazy incubus, craning his neck to look back at Oikawa who’s seated at the table. Case files are spread out all around him.

“Mm?” Oikawa, distracted, allows himself to glance up. “Like a–? Another  _special_ friend? Like that loud one with the big hair?”

Kuroo looks smug, but he shakes his head. “No, no. Another incubus. I want him to stay here for a while.”

Oikawa chokes on his spit. “You’re inviting an _other incubus_ –”

“Yep.”

“– to stay at  _my_ home, take advantage of  _my_ hospitality–”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“– why?!” Oikawa wails, dropping his head onto the table and groaning loudly. “You’re bad enough! And am I even getting paid for this?”

“No way. This isn’t through that weird agency who wants to see how people respond to demons or whatever.” Kuroo flicks a dismissive hand. “I just think you two will get along. Plus, he lasts way longer than you. I have needs, Tooru~”

Oikawa’s face burns. “I hate you,” growls the medium, glaring down at the pictures in front of him. “You’re interfering with my work, you know.”

“It was a crime of passion!” Kuroo declares boldly. “Always is.”

“Go to hell.”

“What, back to the motherland? No way. Shitty climate and no pastries.”

“Oh my god.”

***

Later on that night, Kuroo creeps into Oikawa’s bedroom and gently swats the book from his hands. “Oi. We should talk.”

Oikawa scowls and reaches for it, marking his page. “What now?”

“Do you really not want him here?” Kuroo asks bluntly, making Oikawa falter. “I know it’s… ‘ _taking advantage of your hospitality_ ’ or whatever but I really do think you two would get along. And I sort of…” He shifts his feet. “Miss him. Or whatever.”

Oikawa’s eyes glitter. “Aww~ so he  _does_ have emotions!”

“Shut up.” Kuroo exhales hard and rolls his eyes. “So should I cancel my invitation or not?”

Oikawa chews on his bottom lip. Would a second really be so bad? Maybe this mystery addition could help with the dishes– neither he nor Kuroo have a taste for them, so they pile up day after day. “I… no,” he relents, sighing. “You can invite him over.”

Kuroo grins. “Knew you would come to your senses,” he says, wings spreading and shifting as he crawls down next to Oikawa. The medium gives an annoyed click of his tongue and pretends to snub him, quickly losing reason to as Kuroo’s fingers press to his jaw and dip down his chest.

Oikawa sleeps well that night, face buried into the devil’s chest.

***

Work is grueling. Oikawa isn’t exactly on top of his game as he stares down at the pictures of the victims, desperately trying to reach out to them, find out what happened. Their precinct suffers a bust, and Oikawa returns home gloomy.

Apparently, it shows. Oikawa sinks down into the armchair and sighs, eyebrows knitted together. Kuroo lopes over and runs his fingers through Oikawa’s hair, the gesture oddly domestic and kind that it makes his eyelids droop. “Rough day?”

“Yeah,” mumbles Oikawa, stiffening when something crashes elsewhere in the house. “What the fu–”

“Oh, that was probably just Hajime.” He can hear the grin on Kuroo’s voice. “Bit of a klutz, that one.”

“Oh lord, he’s here now?” Oikawa gripes, sour eyes locked on the bathroom door as it opens. “I don’t have the energy to…”

The words die in his throat as the unfamiliar incubus– Iwaizumi Hajime, he had been told– steps out. He shares some features with Kuroo in the dark hair and slitted eyes, but the similarities end there. His wings are shorter than Kuroo’s and his tail longer, and the dark tattoos snaking over his body resembling veins rather than the ceremonial markings Kuroo has. Low-slung jeans allow his tail to lash out and he takes a long drag from the cigarette hanging between his fingers, Oikawa desperately trying not to stare at his exposed chest. Smoke curls up around his face and Kuroo chuckles lowly.

“Meet Iwaizumi Hajime,” he says.

***

Ten minutes later Oikawa has locked himself in his bedroom, heart pounding wildly. He  _really_ should have thought this over, but then again, he’d had no idea Iwaizumi would look like…

_That_.

Giving a long groan, Oikawa flops face-down onto his bed. Really, Kuroo was bad enough, and he was a  _flirt_. He had no idea what Iwaizumi would act like, how long he would stay, if he would–

Oikawa’s blood runs cold. Having  _one_ incubus touch him was overwhelming, but two– lord, he would have to start drafting his will. Did two of them mean double the appetite, or double the frequency?

Or  _both_?

There’s a cheerful knock on the door. “You alright?” calls Kuroo, voice sounding awfully gleeful. Oikawa cusses to himself. No use trying to hide anything, not when Kuroo and Iwaizumi can literally  _smell_ it. Or, well, probably. He’s still not totally sure of how the science behind all of that works.

Reluctantly, Oikawa unlocks and opens the door. Iwaizumi’s lounging on the couch, feet propped up, wearing a tank top that Kuroo had cut holes into for his wings. “I’m… fine,” he says slowly. “I guess I should introduce myself.”

“I know who you are.” Iwaizumi’s voice makes Oikawa feel a little weak in the knees. “Oikawa Tooru, human medium, working for the police.” His eyes flick over to Kuroo. “Terrible taste in men.”

“Excuse me?” Kuroo gawks. “You’re awfully cocky now that we have a human to play with!”

_We_. It feels official. “Oh my god,” Oikawa says weakly. “So you two have–?”

“Yep,” Iwaizumi says nonchalantly, and though his voice doesn’t sound proud, there’s a smile playing at his lips. “Before we were allowed out. It wasn’t great, but it sufficed in a pinch. Generally humans are the preferred…” He contemplates his word choice. “Vessel.”

Oikawa chokes on his spit and Kuroo, pouting, winds an arm around Oikawa’s hips. “You are a guest in his home,” he reminds pompously. “Be nice to the resident incubus.”

“Is that a requirement?” Iwaizumi’s eyes turn to Oikawa. “Can’t I just pay attention to the host?”

Oikawa hates that he shivers a little. “Be nice to Tetsu-chan,” he says, having to take a second in order to force the words out. “I still have the power to kick you both out.”

Kuroo surveys his nails. “It would take more than an eviction letter.”

Oikawa glares. “I might not be a witch, but my best friend is. He can Banish you.”

Iwaizumi’s eyebrows raise and Kuroo frowns. “That’s rude.”

“It is what it is,” Oikawa says vaguely, trying to regain control of the conversation. I call the shots, you sex leeches.”

There’s a moment of silence, then Iwaizumi snickers into his hand. “Sure, sure,” he says, standing. Oikawa blinks. “Your life would seem so sad without us in it, though.”

Oikawa gasps. “ _That’s_ rude!” he defends, tearing himself away from Kuroo and stalking into the living room. “My life is not sad!”

“You’re a mid-twenties medium living alone and working for the fuzz,” Kuroo drawls, following close behind.

“And your last movie rented was…” Iwaizumi squints at the screen Oikawa hadn’t noticed was on. “Pretty In Pink?”

Oikawa’s face burns. “… so?” he asks, voice growing rather meek.

“Your kitchen is full of milk bread and instant meals.”

“Well, I–”

“Your apartment has one bedroom.”

“My apartment is  _average_ , you  _ungrateful_ –”

“But now we’re here,” Iwaizumi says, cutting off Oikawa’s indignant protests. He walks forward and puts a hand to the juncture of Oikawa’s shoulder and neck– the human takes great pride in the fact that he’s taller than Iwaizumi. His fingers slide up to Oikawa’s jaw, and they’re warm, unlike Kuroo’s. A grin spreads over Iwaizumi’s face. “And things are just getting interesting.”

**Author's Note:**

> my [tumblr](http://hajiiwa.tumblr.com/)~


End file.
